Full Disclosure...

I have been having panic attacks.
Whew, that feels better.  Starting 2 weeks ago, I have been having God-awful panic attacks, almost every day.  I think there are a lot of different factors to blame, but I think that holding this information in and not telling anyone really exacerbates the whole ordeal.  So...thanks for letting me vent.
I try my absolute damnedest to be perfect, and I feel like I do a pretty good job of giving the appearance to others that I really have my life together.  But I'm so hard on myself and get so goal-oriented that I often overlook the amount of stress I am capable of placing on myself.  Case in point: I told myself I would run 100 miles in January, and I've been beating myself up over missing a single day.  At school I have things planned so far in advance that I have too much time to just sit with my own crazy self.  I've ended up losing weight and feeling so distant from everything that it's time I stop worrying about appearances and actually get my life together.  My "okay, this is getting ridiculous" moment was when I found myself in the middle of 3rd period, teaching whilst laying on the air conditioner.  As hilarious as that truly was in retrospect, it's time to get things figured out.
So I'm going to start taking better care of myself.  I'm limiting my workouts and eating healthier--and more.  KLove has a 30-day challenge where you try to listen to nothing but Christian music, and I'm taking part in it; so far I really have seen a difference.  But I'm not naive, either.  I know that depression and anxiety is something that runs in my family, so I'll be visiting a doctor next week to make sure everything checks out.
Anyway, thanks for letting me get a ginormous weight off of my shoulders.  If you have a minute and think of it, say a prayer for me, and I'll return the favor whenever you need me.